Jordan Henderson details full extent of Liverpool exit heartbreak - 'I have struggled'

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Jordan Henderson has admitted leaving Liverpool was so painful that it felt like a break-up. And Henderson has even revealed he was so hurt by the whole experience that he could not even bear to watch Liverpool's games after leaving Anfield.

England midfielder Henderson, 35, caused major shockwaves when he left Liverpool two years ago to join Saudi Pro League club Al-Ettifaq. But within six months, Henderson quit Saudi Arabia for Ajax and is now back in English football with Brentford but he is still bruised by his split from Liverpool.

Former Liverpool captain Henderson enjoyed an incredible 12 years at Anfield where he won the Premier League title and Champions League and found the split the hardest time of his career. Henderson said: “It was a really tough period when I left Liverpool, I was there for a long period of time, 12 years.

“Leaving Liverpool itself was huge and really difficult and at any point it was going to be hard because it had been my life for so long and then it is just gone like that… so I have struggled for a period after that.

“No, I couldn’t watch a lot of games, I certainly couldn’t watch Liverpool. I didn’t watch a lot of Premier League stuff then… probably picked the right place for that, I was half way around the world !

“Yeah, it was tough but when you leave Liverpool because I was there for so long because I had such an attachment and I dedicated a large part of my life there, when I left I found it really difficult and I suppose whatever I did or wherever I went…

“I don’t know what it felt like, it felt like a break-up, it was just difficult and I think if you asked a lot of players when they left a club, not just Liverpool but when you have been at a club for so long and you have that attachment to them whether you retire or move on.

“I think for a period of time that was hard but within time things change, you move on but I would say that was probably the most difficult time.”

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Henderson has won 85 caps and admitted that when he lost his England place - he did not make the cut for the Euros - he feared the worst until Thomas Tuchel brought him back. But if you cut him, he bleeds England. He is so passionate about playing for England and that was clearly a factor in him returning to the Premier League with Brentford.

Henderson is enjoying a second wind and some good performances but he also admitted that he is driven by people who doubt him and write him off.

“I think I’ve used it as fuel throughout my career, really,” said Henderson. “Everyone’s different and everyone likes to approach things differently. For me, I suppose it’s part and parcel of who I am. I’ve always had to prove something, somewhere. I don’t think that will ever change sometimes.”

Henderson also says he has learned to try and block out criticism which allows him to focus on the job in hand. Even if that has taken years for him to shut out the noise.

He said: “When you are younger it can be tough, it is a lot easier now. And I suppose it is not bad to come through stuff like that in the end when you could come out the other side and look back.

“Of course there will be tough moments, and I am not going to lie, over the past couple of years, I have had some tough moments.

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“But when you come out the other side, you look back, you think you learn a lot about yourself and it makes you stronger, makes you think differently and if you use it in the right way, it can help you and that is all I have ever tried to do.

“Of course I am not perfect and I have made mistakes in the past, throughout my career, but all I have ever tried to do is the right thing and help as many people around me as I can and try to use the negative stuff to be a better player and help my team.

“That’s what I’ve done wherever I have been, trying to help the team as much as possible and use all the negativity as fuel and use it to make us better.

“Looking back, that is something I have always probably needed. I just feel that I have had that and have had to learn to use it as a tool in the right way and hopefully I have been because I am still here and speaking to you now which can’t be a bad thing.”

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